In this episode of the Strong By Design Podcast, Coach Chris Wilson sits down with self-influence strategist and Real Influence podcast host Joey Vaillancourt for a powerful conversation about the hidden emotional cost of achievement, the identity traps many high performers fall into, and why success alone often fails to bring lasting fulfillment.
Joey shares his personal journey through divorce, sobriety, fatherhood, and deep personal transformation—and explains how unconscious programming can keep driven people stuck in constant pressure mode, always chasing the next milestone while feeling disconnected from themselves and the people who matter most.
Together, Chris and Joey unpack the difference between pain and suffering, why achievement can quietly become an addiction, and how redefining success through presence, awareness, contribution, and relationships can completely change the way we live and lead.
If you’ve ever felt like you “should” be happier after reaching your goals… this episode is for you.
Time Stamps
0:00 – Why success doesn’t feel as good as it should
0:37 – Welcome to the Strong By Design podcast!
4:22 – The identity trap behind your results
6:21 – Pain vs suffering: Why it matters
12:21 – Why achievement still leaves you feeling empty
23:36 – The mindset shift that changes everything
27:54 – What happens when your standards get clear
30:31 – What’s really controlling your decisions
31:21 – Why success still feels like something is missing
33:53 – The thing 'more valuable' than status or money
35:51 – Why helping others changes how you feel
37:17 – Daily habits that builds real awareness
39:24 – The trap of comparing your life to others
40:47 – Stay connected with Joey Vaillancourt
41:25 – Share, rate & review the Strong By Design podcast!
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